5/22/14

I have an empty space

"What's wrong, baby bear?

I have an empty space. 

Is it because you're outside of your natural habitat? 

Yeah, I miss my mommy and daddy. 

I know your mom and dad got hurt. I won't hurt you. I'll never leave you. We'll find your brothers and sisters soon."

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Lately, our Little Lady has unknowingly walked herself through a few play therapy sessions with her Barbies and her stuffed animals. It's usually the last few minutes before she falls asleep. It's such a gift to be able to experience these moments with her and to be able to see inside her soul. And hear her real thoughts, just for a second.

In these moments, I want to grab her, look straight into her eyes and tell her about the only One who could fill that space and the void in her life.

I actually did try this yesterday, but it started an argument, so I decided to let it go for now. I was trying to explain that Jesus should be the most important person in our lives. More important than our family, our friends, etc. I told her that I love Jesus, then Mr. Brian and my family, then my friends, etc. because He is #1 in my life, followed by everything/everyone else.

She became very upset and said, "No, it's my parents, then Jesus, then cake." (Yes, cake is ranked that high.)

“If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me." (Matthew 10:38-39)

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LL's quotes:
- "It's hard to lose a grandpa. Grandpas do all the yard work."
- "Ouch! That hurt my leg hairs!"
- (Singing) "Barf up, barf up, barf down. Barf up, barf up, barf down. Hi ho the derrio, barf up, barf up, barf down."
- "I've only been to my school for a few days and I'm already remembering a lot of things my teacher told me."
- "You know Ms. C? The one with the amber highlights?"

Don't judge me - I couldn't fathom cooking or cleaning tonight. Thank goodness for CiCi's!

Always climbing on something

Good night, little one.

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About Us: 

We began our foster journey in mid-August 2013. We finished our classes in October, had our home study in early January, and we were licensed on February 7, 2014. After seven calls from CPS, we received our first placement, a 7-year-old girl (our Little Lady, or LL for short) on April 3, 2014. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through the craziness that is foster care. Most importantly, thanks for your prayers, love, and support. We hope to encourage fellow foster/adoptive parents as we document our ups and downs each day. 

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