It began around 7:00 this morning when I asked her to put her socks on. By herself. I know, I'm soooo mean.
"You're turning me into a big girl and not my momma's baby."
It all makes sense now. The more we encourage her to become independent, the further she gets from who her mom wants her to be - a baby.
In the four and a half weeks she's been with us, we've gone from her wanting to do everything by herself to her wanting to do nothing by herself. We're now in the phase of showing her a balance of what we're willing to do for her and what she should be able to do by herself.
The other low-blow came this afternoon when I discovered that she had "decorated" my passenger seat head rest with bandaids. She said she was "polishing them." Looked more like vandalism to me. (Kidding.)
The conversation went something like this:
Me: "I wouldn't have done that to your car."
LL: "What do you mean? I won't even know you when I get my own car. I'll be back with my momma soon, safe and sound."
Ouch. I have to admit - that one hit me. Hard. Does she feel unsafe with me??? Does she hate being with me that much?? These were the thoughts swirling around in my head.
99% of the time I am perfectly content knowing that she may not appreciate or enjoy her time with us until we're nothing but a memory 20 years from now. I'm usually fine knowing that someday she'll hear something about the Alamo or Bahama Bucks and for a brief moment, our faces will flash in her mind and she'll remember...oh yeah, I remember these crazy people taking me to the Alamo when I was a little girl. They were fun. I wonder how they're doing.
Again, I'm usually fine knowing that we'll be nothing but a sweet memory of hers someday. But, when she says something like that, it stops me in my tracks (literally, in the middle of the parking lot), and I find myself reminding my lungs to take a deep breath and swallowing the lump welling up in my throat.
One step, and one breath, at a time. That's how we get through each day.
LL's quotes:
- "My Uncle ---- put rocks in his stomach and he had to cut them out with his dangerously knife." (????)
- "My teacher keeps telling me all this stuff about math and science cause I think she wants me to be the teacher."
- "O! M! Wowzers!"
- "Why does Mr. Brian always want to hang out with all of those girls instead of us?" (Referring to the teachers he works with!) I had to clarify that he wasn't hanging out with a bunch of girls; he had to work late!!!
- "I got a splinter. It's sinking into my skin! Or is it a wolf ear??"
- LL: "Ooooh! That man is from Africa!" Me: "How can you tell?" LL: "His necklace. I LOVE Africa! They get to eat fish every night!" Me: "Oh ok. Hey, ----- I've noticed that you talk a lot about the color of people's skin and about what country they're from. I want to make sure you know that we have friends that are from all over the world, and from different cultures, and they're all kinds of colors!" LL: "I know! And I love their cultures! I'm jealous of their cultures!"
- LL: "Have you seen the movie Epic?" Me: "Nope. Is it good?" LL: "YES! It's fantastic!!! The queen dies." Me: "You're not supposed to tell me the ending, silly!" LL: "That's not the end."
- LL: "What's the name of our subdivision called?" Me: "-------- Estates." LL: "Wow. Somebody sassy must have made up that name." Me: "Why do you think so?" LL: "Cause they called it -------- UHstates!"
First time at Chipotle! First, she asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then, she asked for mayonnaise on her quesadilla. I'm not sure if she quite understands what kind of restaurant this is. :)
We made this a working dinner. Making it happen! #homeworktime
We even got to go to the bakery "Aubs" (as LL calls her) works at for dessert. Two of her favorite things...Aubrey AND cake, all in one night. She was in heaven!
"You're turning me into a big girl and not my momma's baby."
It all makes sense now. The more we encourage her to become independent, the further she gets from who her mom wants her to be - a baby.
In the four and a half weeks she's been with us, we've gone from her wanting to do everything by herself to her wanting to do nothing by herself. We're now in the phase of showing her a balance of what we're willing to do for her and what she should be able to do by herself.
The other low-blow came this afternoon when I discovered that she had "decorated" my passenger seat head rest with bandaids. She said she was "polishing them." Looked more like vandalism to me. (Kidding.)
The conversation went something like this:
Me: "I wouldn't have done that to your car."
LL: "What do you mean? I won't even know you when I get my own car. I'll be back with my momma soon, safe and sound."
Ouch. I have to admit - that one hit me. Hard. Does she feel unsafe with me??? Does she hate being with me that much?? These were the thoughts swirling around in my head.
99% of the time I am perfectly content knowing that she may not appreciate or enjoy her time with us until we're nothing but a memory 20 years from now. I'm usually fine knowing that someday she'll hear something about the Alamo or Bahama Bucks and for a brief moment, our faces will flash in her mind and she'll remember...oh yeah, I remember these crazy people taking me to the Alamo when I was a little girl. They were fun. I wonder how they're doing.
Again, I'm usually fine knowing that we'll be nothing but a sweet memory of hers someday. But, when she says something like that, it stops me in my tracks (literally, in the middle of the parking lot), and I find myself reminding my lungs to take a deep breath and swallowing the lump welling up in my throat.
One step, and one breath, at a time. That's how we get through each day.
LL's quotes:
- "My Uncle ---- put rocks in his stomach and he had to cut them out with his dangerously knife." (????)
- "My teacher keeps telling me all this stuff about math and science cause I think she wants me to be the teacher."
- "O! M! Wowzers!"
- "Why does Mr. Brian always want to hang out with all of those girls instead of us?" (Referring to the teachers he works with!) I had to clarify that he wasn't hanging out with a bunch of girls; he had to work late!!!
- "I got a splinter. It's sinking into my skin! Or is it a wolf ear??"
- LL: "Ooooh! That man is from Africa!" Me: "How can you tell?" LL: "His necklace. I LOVE Africa! They get to eat fish every night!" Me: "Oh ok. Hey, ----- I've noticed that you talk a lot about the color of people's skin and about what country they're from. I want to make sure you know that we have friends that are from all over the world, and from different cultures, and they're all kinds of colors!" LL: "I know! And I love their cultures! I'm jealous of their cultures!"
- LL: "Have you seen the movie Epic?" Me: "Nope. Is it good?" LL: "YES! It's fantastic!!! The queen dies." Me: "You're not supposed to tell me the ending, silly!" LL: "That's not the end."
- LL: "What's the name of our subdivision called?" Me: "-------- Estates." LL: "Wow. Somebody sassy must have made up that name." Me: "Why do you think so?" LL: "Cause they called it -------- UHstates!"
Aubrey came to have dinner with us!
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About Us:
We began our foster journey in mid-August 2013. We finished our classes in October, had our home study in early January, and we were licensed on February 7, 2014. After seven calls from CPS, we received our first placement, a 7-year-old girl (our Little Lady, or LL for short) on April 3, 2014. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through the craziness that is foster care. Most importantly, thanks for your prayers, love, and support. We hope to encourage fellow foster/adoptive parents as we document our ups and downs each day.
About Us:
We began our foster journey in mid-August 2013. We finished our classes in October, had our home study in early January, and we were licensed on February 7, 2014. After seven calls from CPS, we received our first placement, a 7-year-old girl (our Little Lady, or LL for short) on April 3, 2014. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through the craziness that is foster care. Most importantly, thanks for your prayers, love, and support. We hope to encourage fellow foster/adoptive parents as we document our ups and downs each day.
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