"Will you get a white one?"

What I felt like inside...

Yes, I was actually asked this question yesterday. I'm sure this person had the best of intentions, but it prompted me to clarify a few things...

Asking questions about foster kids can get pretty awkward. People genuinely want to know what's going on in our journey, but they don't always know how to ask the questions, and that's OK! Usually the questions come out a little like this...

(Enter well-intended guest into my personal space):
"Hey, Julie! How's it going? So, uh, how's the adoption thing going?"

Me: "Oh, hi, -----. Things are going well, but we're trying to become foster parents; we might adopt, but we'll see." (Things are currently at an awkwardness level of a 2/5.)

Them: "So, which one will you get?" (Awkwardness level rising...)

Me: (trying not to look mortified) "Well, it just depends on the children who need our help once we become licensed."

Them: "But, you get a choice, right?"

Me: (Wow, that's a big question...did you get a choice on the kids you got???) "Well, we can give our preferences, but it will ultimately depend on whoever God wants to place in our home."

Them: "Can you ask for a white one?"

Me: "I'm sorry?" (Awkwardness level through the roof.) 

I know people have good intentions when they ask things like this. Let's face it, most people know how to ask about a baby; you start with, "When are you due?", "Do you plan to find out the sex of the baby?", "What colors will you decorate the nursery with?"

Questions about foster care are awkward because God never intended for His kids to be a part of it. It's weird because it isn't natural. Kids should be with their birth parents and their parents should just take care of them. The end. But unfortunately, things don't always pan out that way. 

Before we took a month of classes, I'm sure I probably asked a few awkward questions as well. It helps to understand what foster care is a little bit before asking. Here's an article that explains the basics of foster care.

We welcome your questions and love that our friends and family just want to know about our journey and support us. 

And if you're curious, no, we will not request a white one.