Live. Love. Foster.: April 2014

Oasis

4/29/14

Will you teach me how to dance?

Thank you to all of our friends, family, and fellow foster/adoptive moms who texted, emailed, messaged, called, and commented after I wrote the previous post. Your encouragement and thoughtfulness mean so much to us and we would not be able to get through each day without your notes, love, and prayers.

I really appreciate hearing all of your stories and your perspective - people who have adopted kiddos, former foster kids, stepmoms, etc. - I took all of your messages to heart. There are a lot of things that are uncertain in our lives right now, but I am certain that we are meant to take care of this Little Lady right now, so we'll keep doing that and loving her like crazy for as long as the Lord wants her to be in our home. Thanks for keeping things in perspective and reminding me that we are doing the right things for her, whether or not she understands (or appreciates) what we're doing.

LL's quotes:

- "Your '2 minutes' and my mom's '2 minutes' are really different. My mom used to say, 'You have 2 more minutes to play,' and I'd take one step, and it was over!" LL has her own timer and we time almost everything, so I think she's getting better at understanding how long things actually take.
- "Why do I have to use a napkin? I'm at home here! It's a country restaurant. I shouldn't have to use this thing!"
- Brian handed LL a piece of broccoli and she dunked it in ranch dressing (as she does with most foods), and she said, "Look, it's snow on a tree!" To which Bry said, "You should try cauliflower - you don't even have to add snow to those trees!"
- "We can't leave yet. I need to see everything! I need to go look at that deer, and that cactus, and I need to stick my finger in that cactus!"

Intense peanut cracking at Texas Roadhouse (her new favorite place!)

I'm not sure why, but she loves unlocking the door. She always insists on opening the door by herself when we get home.

Ballet practice at dusk.

"Will you teach me how to dance?"

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Oasis

4/28/14

She's not my mom

These words are still ringing in my ears three days later.

She was in one bathroom stall, I was in the other. Two ladies walked in and heard us talking. LL came out of the stall first and one of the ladies asked her something and referred to me as her mom. She quickly corrected the lady and said, almost angrily, "She's not my mom."

There's nothing I could ever do to replace the place in her heart that belongs to her mom. And it's not even that I want to. But in some ways, I just wish she could understand that there's a reason she's with us and not with her parents. And maybe I wish that she'd be a little more grateful for everything we're providing for her right now. I know that's asking a lot, but it's just my reality right now.

The longer she is separated from her mother, that place in her heart just grows wider and deeper and more longinly for her mom.

And so, it's starting to settle in.

The jealousy.

I tried to push it back. And ignore it. And deny it, but I'm only fooling myself if I do not admit that it's making me a little envious to hear her talk about how perfect her mom is, and how inept I am, when here I am, trying to fill that role in her life right now.

We were warned about this, too, but I'm finding out that learning and experiencing are two very different things.

So, I'll just keep setting out her clothes, doing her hair, covering scrapes, cleaning the sheets, and putting one step in front of the other to take care of all of the little tasks that come together to make a day in LL's life.

------------------------------------------------

It was another one of those days where I saw our Little Lady for about 10 minutes before we started bath time. I hate when I get home so late! :(

LL's quotes:

- Me: "Do you know what awkward means?" LL: "Yup, complicated." Yup, that sums it up pretty well. :)
- (After I told her we were three minutes late leaving the house this morning), LL: "You care more about your work than you do about my school." Me: "No, I care about both the same. It's just really important that we leave on time so my boss doesn't fire me." LL: "My mom has lost her job a thousand times...it's not that big of a deal."
- "He needs to cut his hair. I WANT HIS HAIR!!! It is so long and pretty!!!"
- "She (LL's teacher) wouldn't care even if I told her. But, she's still a really nice teacher. She's just trying to get us to solve our own problems."
- "Woah! He bald!" (The older, adult version of David in our bible story.)

A glimpse into our world.

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Oasis

4/27/14

We found it...

...and by "it," I mean the hidden poop. We were warned about this in one of our foster classes a few months ago.

We cannot confirm whether or not it was Lucy's (the dog's) or LL's, but we found it in her room.

I'm praying this was just a random occurrence and not an indication of something more serious we need to be concerned about.

I don't have a lot of pics and I don't even really have any quotes from the day. We were driving for almost 7 hours today, so any pictures I would've taken would have the back of the car in the pic.

Ironically, Shawn and Laurie Ann happened to be in San Antonio this weekend, too. We were able to work it out so that LL and LA could ride back to Dallas together. The girls were ecstatic!!! It was so great to hear them giggle and play in the back seat, and it was even better to catch up with Shawn for a few hours. I'm so grateful to have them in our lives.

My dream has come true! A whole WALL of candy! We love Buc-ees!

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Oasis

4/26/14

Traveling by cartwheel

Why walk when you can cartwheel or skip? This little one is constantly in mid-air everywhere we go. I love watching her in these moments. No, I don't love thinking about the germs that are probably on the sidewalk from the bottom of people's shoes, but I can't help but smile when I see her hopping along, cartwheeling until she's dizzy.

She is fearless. And carefree. And childlike. It's a beautiful thing.

When will she decide that skipping, jumping, and cartwheeling are no longer a feasible means of traveling? I pray everyday that our Little Lady holds fast to this innocent spirit for as long as she can.

We had an awesome, but long day! It started with the Fiesta parade downtown, then a trip to the Alamo, lunch with my parents, and dinner with my extended family.

LL's quotes:

- (This story is shared with my beautiful cousin Kelly's permission!) LL: "Why are you in a wheelchair?" Kelly: "Because I can't walk." LL: "Everyone should learn how to walk!" I could tell that she seemed genuinely concerned about this, so I explained that Kelly isn't in pain and that she's ok. Then she asked, "But how is she going to get in her bed?" We have a long road ahead of us to work with LL on how to interact and talk about people who are different than her. We've had many conversations about how to talk about people from other races and cultures. And now we'll add physical disabilities to the list.

- "Oh yeah, this one is the right one. It smells better." (In reference to the port-o-potty at the Fiesta parade.)

- Me: "How do you know this song? This isn't really a kids' song." LL: "My nana used to sing this to me. It's on VH1. How could anyone not know that?"

- "You know you're in the country if you see broken soccer nets."

- "That's the romance table. There are candles."

This picture alone makes the $25 we spent on parking completely worth it.

Best buds!

One lucky lady. Dad turned on the juke box for her and even let her push the buttons to choose the songs she wanted to hear!

Watching the cats hunt for mice and birds.

Dancing the night away!

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Oasis

4/25/14

Our first road trip!

It took about six hours to get here, but we finally made it to my hometown this evening. Our Little Lady had a great time simultaneously playing with her princess sticker book and pushing Lucy's butt out of her face for six hours.

LL's quotes:

- "I'm not used to going to school this much."

- "Things are just turning out to be really good for me!"

- "Don't try this at home, kids."

- "Oh, I am workin', girl!"

- "You don't need any more fuel. Stop eating."

Thankful for parks at rest stops.

That's one way to get down the slide.

German chocolate cake from the Czech bakery.

"Reading" to MJ before bed!

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Oasis

He put a ring on it

Happy 10 year engagement anniversary to my best friend! I love you, baby!

April 25, 2004

So young and in love!

College life.

Engagement pics - Spring 2005

Smooth move.

I found this this morning and decided the world needed to read this greatness.

If you don't know this story, I accidentally slapped Bry the first time I met him. Yes, on the face. :/

Can't wait to spend another decade with this man!

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Oasis

4/24/14

Goodbye, Mrs. DeGeneres

I finally did it. I deleted all of the Ellen episodes that have been piling up on my DVR since November. Within about 5 seconds, they were gone. Who was I kidding...there was no way I'd ever be able to watch even a fraction of what I had recorded, so I was content with deleting all of it.

There's now plenty of room for more Austin and Ally, Dog with a Blog, and other TV shows I never knew existed 3 weeks ago, but have made themselves comfortable in our home.

LL's quotes:

- "My dad said he'd get me a BB gun. A PINK one. And camouflage."

- "You sure do have a lot of different rules here."

- "I used to eat 100% calories in honey."

- LL: "We used to do school at home." Me: "What was your favorite part?" LL: "Recess! We'd do recess all day long."

- "Something just bit me and gave me this freckle. I think it was an angel disguised as a moth."

I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more. My husband is incredible. Even on really hard days, he steps up to the plate and he goes above and beyond for us. I'm just so thankful to have him in my life.

Grilling together.

Front row seating.

Doing our homework outside on this beautiful evening; taking a "book walk" to find wh, sh, th, and ch words!

Dinner on the porch.

Watching how Lucy gets her backpack on.

Wish you could see her HUGE smile...she is always a giggling machine when he washes her feet.

Goodnight hugs.

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