This quote pretty much sums up our weekend together. We've had some rough days this week. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that this was the first time in almost four months that we've had to give out consequences other than a 1-5 minute time-in.
Her choices allowed us to talk about a few things that we probably wouldn't have otherwise. Such as, it's okay to feel angry, but it isn't okay to act out in anger. It's okay to feel mad, but it isn't okay to be disrespectful to other people when we're angry.
And then we had another conversation about God answering our prayers. And what to do when it seems like he isn't answering them.
We explained that sometimes God says yes to our prayers, sometimes he says no, and sometimes he says yes, but not right now. Usually, when we have conversations like this, I wonder if she's making the connection between what we're talking about and her current situation. And usually, she's very quiet and doesn't let us in on her thoughts.
But this time, she said, "So....God wants me to be here for a while...instead of with my family?"
That wasn't an easy one to answer.
We tried to explain that God, and Brian and I, want her to be safe and taken care of. Sometimes our family members aren't able to do those things for us. Sometimes we have to live with other people who can keep us safe for a little while, or for a long while.
I find it hard to answer this question because I struggle with accepting that God's will will absolutely come to fruition in her case. Please don't read that wrong. I'm not saying that I do not trust Him completely. I'm not saying that I don't believe it's His will that she stays with us, or that she's returned to her family.
I am just saying that I'm not 100% convinced that the outcome of her case will be what HE wants for her.
We live in a messy world full of messy people who have something called "free will." There is no guarantee in her case, or in life for that matter; LL could end up living with people who might abuse her, hate her, or at the very least, set her back in the progress she's made in the last few months. If this happens to her, should I really think, "Well, I guess it was God's will for her to live with -------. It must be His will for her to be in this situation."
What I do believe is that no matter what happens, I will fervently pray that she finds her way back to Him every day. That she chooses to advocate for herself, even if no one else will. That she searches for the Lord and seeks Him with her whole heart in every situation. That she will study the life of Jesus and choose to follow Him even when no one else tells her about Him.
I know it is His will that she learns to trust and obey Him in all things and in all situations. And even when I'm unsure about her future and whether or not this is what is "supposed" to happen, I will remind myself to do these things as well.
Trust.
Obey.
Repeat.
LL's quotes:
- "When I was a baby, they put me in a nursing home and I got strong."
- Me: "You better remember us forever!" LL: "I told you I'll try, but I don't have a picture of y'all. You'll have to draw me a picture, but my dog will tear it up because it'll be on the ground because I'll have no where else to put it."
- The sign at Chuy's said No Cry Babies Allowed, so I told LL that cry babies would be kicked out. She asked the hostess and our waiter if it was true. Lucky for me, they played along. :)
- "This place is seriously fancy!" She said this while we were eating at Chuy's. We were seated in the room where hub caps cover the entire ceiling. Really fancy.
Waiting for our table at Chuy's.
LL: "Where do you keep all the money?" Bank teller: "In that vault behind you." LL: "That looks way too thick for me to put an ax through it." I guess she's planning on breaking in???
The only time she's ever allowed to use an iPad...when Mr. Matt is around. :)
Her new favorite way to get around. In this guy's arms.
Good night hugs. My view from the bottom bunk.
- As soon as I woke her up on Friday morning, she said, "If you're wondering what I was dreaming about all night, it was the colors of the rainbow."
- "Girls have sideburns, too. Don't even think for a second that they don't."
- "When something is cheap, little chicks say, 'Cheap cheap cheap.' Get it?"
- (While driving to church this morning) Bry: "Hey you, are you alive back there?" LL: (long pause.....) "Quack."
Waiting for our table at Chuy's.
Practicing her high kick.
LL helped me with another maternity shoot on Saturday morning. From this angle, we could see two rainbows. It was a great way to start out the shoot!
LL eyeing the ducks two seconds before she ran towards them and almost fell in the water. Parenting FAIL. It seemed like such a calm, contemplative moment. I thought it'd be safe to take a quick picture. Who knew things would change so quickly??
Celebrating Christie's birthdays for the last 6 years while she's been traveling abroad! She made food and brought gifts for the guests from Spain at her own birthday party!
Christie and LL. Two peas in a pod, just as I had predicted! Only Christie would ask a kid, "What kind of sounds can you make with your mouth?" LL had a great time and loved meeting Christie and our college friends!
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About Us:
We began our foster journey in mid-August 2013. We finished our classes in October, had our home study in early January, and we were licensed on February 7, 2014. After seven calls from CPS, we received our first placement, a 7-year-old girl (our Little Lady, or LL for short) on April 3, 2014. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through the craziness that is foster care. Most importantly, thanks for your prayers, love, and support. We hope to encourage fellow foster/adoptive parents as we document our ups and downs each day.
About Us:
We began our foster journey in mid-August 2013. We finished our classes in October, had our home study in early January, and we were licensed on February 7, 2014. After seven calls from CPS, we received our first placement, a 7-year-old girl (our Little Lady, or LL for short) on April 3, 2014. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through the craziness that is foster care. Most importantly, thanks for your prayers, love, and support. We hope to encourage fellow foster/adoptive parents as we document our ups and downs each day.
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